Lower your Expectations: Live with Grace

I had a happy Mother’s day.  No breakfast in bed, no foot rub, no special card or gift.  I’m not even sure anyone in my family told me happy Mother’s day until the afternoon.  Why am I okay with that?

I’d like to think that with age, comes wisdom.  I’ve realized that with these special days, like Mother’s day, or my birthday, or even Christmas, I get MY hopes up and EXPECT someone or something to make me HAPPY.

Thankfully, now that I have most likely lived half my life, I have realized the folly in this expectation.  I realized that I’m better off appreciating the people around me, enjoying their presence, being thankful for who they are and the fact that they are in my life, and finding contentment in whatever God sees fit to put in front of me for that day.

It may sound a little strange, but it’s freeing, in fact.  I didn’t feel weird at all throwing in a load of laundry or two, on Mother’s day.  Know why?  Because I’m a mom, and that’s what moms do!  I didn’t feel angry or gypped that I had to spend half of the day in the ER.  Know why?  Because that’s what moms do.  I wasn’t even terribly bothered that my kids forgot to sign the Mother’s day card that my littlest picked out for me (and I bought) last week.  Know why?  Because that’s how kids are.

Expectations

Expectations are unfriendly to Grace.  Grace is gracious.  Expectations are rigid.  Grace suffers long.  Expectations hold people hostage.  Grace forgives.  Expectations make people pay.  Grace believes the best.  Expectations throw pity parties.

Why did I let go of Expectations and embrace Grace on Mother’s day?  Well, holding on to expectations would have put me in a bad mood.  I would have been looking for the things that would have made me happy, and I would not have been satisfied.  I would have come up short.  Any time I put my hope in an experience, or thing, or a person’s love, even, I will always be disappointed.  Experiences, things, and people, cannot satisfy the soul’s deepest longing to be treasured, appreciated, held.

Only fellowship with our Abba Father can satisfy the longing of our souls.  Only His Friendship will never disappoint us.  Only His Love will never let us down.  Only He is all good, all of the time.

And I can only imagine how it blesses the people around us when we don’t expect them to say, or think, or do, or be, something that will bring us pleasure.  The pressure’s off.  Loving, giving, doing, it’s all based on free choice.  It’s not manipulated or presupposed.  True Joy is found when love is given unexpectedly.

I hope for love every day.  I look for it in the small things.  I give it and appreciate it when it is returned.  Family will look different for everyone, but for me, family days are better when Expectations are locked out in the backyard.