Real Relationships

How do we do ‘Real’ in our Relationships?

My kitchen is messy.  My cupboards are cluttered. There is laundry on the couch.

The kids homework isn’t finished and they just left to go play basketball.  I haven’t planned my homeschool year yet, and it started last week.  I lost the remote control garage door opener to my friend’s house where I was cat-sitting, and when my husband picked them up at the airport last night, they had to come sleep over because they had no other way to get in their house!  Thrilling, with a 10 month old.

I fail daily.  I don’t make my bed.  I use too much TP.  Sometimes I don’t brush.  I don’t get the mail every day.  I don’t listen to my voicemails.  I don’t always feel connected to God, husband, kids, and extended family members.  I’m bad at remembering birthdays and thank you cards.  I eat cheetos.  And I drink too much diet coke.

So there, that’s keeping it real, just to name a few things.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence.  I used to believe that the people that I saw every day must have perfect lives.  If their cute pedicure was any indication of their happiness-meter, then they were off the charts!  I assumed that everybody’s parenting was better than mine, and everyone had perfect ‘happily-ever-after’ marriages.  I guessed that my problems with time management, cooking, cleaning, handling children, finances, intimacy, overeating, anxiety and depression,  were all unique to me and nobody else could relate.

But then I started talking to people.  I started really listening.  I realized that the more I shared what was really going on in my life, the more people would open up and share real stuff that was going on in their lives.  And when I listened, they felt loved.  You see, I was listening for a purpose.  I was listening to see what God may be up to in their lives.  I was listening for hints of hope in their words, for indications of faith or trust in Jesus.

Now I’m a firm believer in keeping it real.  It doesn’t impress me if people look like they have it all together.  Because they don’t.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I do.  I would rather people know where I really am, what I’m really like, how I really feel, than to put out a facade and steer them astray.  You see, keeping it real brings people to Jesus.  It shows others that I need Him, and conversely, that they need Him.  When we think we have it all together, we act like we are invincible.  And then when trouble hits, we better keep it to ourselves, because we wouldn’t want anybody to know that things aren’t going well.

It’s so much better to be honest from the start.  To share our struggles and fears, our weaknesses along with our strengths.  We can be more of a blessing to others when we share our stuff, and listen to their stuff, and encourage them that they will get through it, because they are not alone!