You know the feeling; heart sinks, longing; head aches, wishing; wandering, wondering, “what just happened, and why do I feel like this?” Christmas day. It’s a beautiful mess. The before is astounding. Hopes up. Lights on. Smiles bright. Music playing. Laughter and joy. Anticipation and longing. It comes and goes. Like a tropical breeze so light you might miss it if you were dozing in the sun. The Advent readings, the Candlelit services, the carols on the radio; the flannel pajamas, hot cocoa and peppermint bark, gifts tucked under a tree; shopping, eating, running, slowing, sitting, pondering. Then it’s here. [ …read full story ]